The dream..

Last night..I went to sleep..
Full of worry..and concerned..
And as I lay sleeping..
A great lesson I learn,

In my sleep..I drifted..
To a place far..far away..
Where the saviour had been taken..
To spend His final day..

The crown of thorns..brought anguish..
As they placed it on His head..
I watched them..nail Him to the cross..
Where His precious blood was shed..





Despite His pain and sorrow..
These words He spoke to me..
"Precious one..doubt not my love..
and you shall be set free.."

~Author unknown~

Another survey

From UTAR ICT...for the last time..using the age old computer which is as slow as tortoise..=p

Last day in UTAR..hmmm.. It reminds of the last day of school.. all busy arranging our tables for SPM.. taking pictures with everyone we meet.. walking all around the school..talking crap.. "Checking" out the cute guy..for one last time.. knowing..you wont meet him again..but still dont have the guts to go and say "hi" ..lol..

I wonder hows today going to be.. meanwhile..its been a while since I did surveys.. so here's one!..=)

FROM FACEBOOK..
Rules: Once you've been tagged, Fill this out and repost as, "My Autobiography" And use your own answers, not anyone else's. and tag 21 frends including me..

1. Where did you take your profile pic?
erm..In facebook..I took it in the car..hehe..after my sis 21st birthday dinner..

2. What exactly are you wearing right now?
A dress.. normally I'm in jeans and sport shoes..lol.. but I decided to wear something different since its the last day..and the next thing I know..they started asking.."are you going for a date??" ..hehe.

3. What is your current problem?
The brain is trying to catch up with life..the heart's finally FIXED though a bit distorted though ..the mouth cant stop crapping..=) ..

4. What makes you happy most?
Blogging..and blogging.. oh yeah..FRIENDS!!..=)

5. What's the name of the song that you're listening to?
Right now..all I'm hearing is UTAR's annoying printer that sounds like a mentally retarded halfway constipated ELEPHANT ..hehehehe

6. Any celeb you would marry?
TAYLOR LAUTNER..ROBERT PATTISON, CHAD MICHAEL MURRAY!!..=D *I kinda dream tooo much*..hehe

7. Name someone with the same birthday as you?
ohhh..erm..Catherine Marie Leaonard from HFC..

8. Ever sang in front of a large audience?
hahaha..yup.. and I end up embarrassing myself 90% of the time..=p

9. Has anyone ever said you look like a celebrity?
nooo..the say I look like my sis..like"eehhww" rite??..hehe

10. Do you still watch kiddie movies or kiddie TV shows?
DUUHH! ..hehehe.. erm got a whole lots of them.. mr bean, mickey mouse club house, totally spies..lol

11. Do you speak any languages?
err..if i cant..how am I to answer you then??..lol..nonsense!!.. I speak english, malay, tamil and sometimes my sis say I speak JAPANESE!!..=p

12.Do you ever watch MTV?
uh huh..

Chapter 1: =====================
1. Middle name:
hmmm.. margrita..NOT MARGARITA!!..sigh..

2. Nickname(s):
I think I could list a whole page of them.. erm..pig, piglet, babi.. Fort margherita.. MARGARITA!! ..jobabe.. ju-on.. hu-an, JUAN PABLO MATOYA..*dont ask* ..=( lol

3. Current location:
UTAR ICT, SEKSYEN 14, PJ..

4. Eye color:
Dark brown..

Chapter 2: =====================

Do you get along well with your parents?
Most of the time i guess..

Chapter 3: Favorites ===========================

1. Ice cream: Vanilla and chocolate..=)

2. Shampoo/conditioner:
From Cosway..forget whats the name..lol

Chapter 4: Do You... ===========================

1. Dance in the shower?
NOOO..hehe..i sing though..

2. Do you write on your hand?
Not really..but they do..when they're bored..hehe

3. Call people back?
as is what??..mobile??..hehe.. yes I guess

4. Believe in love?
heheheh..yeah!!

5. Any mental health issues?
sadly yes.. Blurness.. a bit of dumbness.. Blogging madness.. emo-ness to the max.. CRAPISH every second I get the chance.. Music and lyrics freak.. lol..

Chapter 5: Have You.. .=============================

1. Broken a bone?
Not yet..hehe

2. Sprained anything?
Normally when I play netball..=)

3. Had physical therapy?
nope..=)

4. Gotten stitches?
Noo..and do not wish too..

5. Taken painkillers?
yeah..

Chapter 6: Who/What was the last ===================================

1. Movie you watched:
In cinema its NEW MOON!.. At home.. its TWILIGHT!!..hehe

2. Three people to text you?
Cynta, James and stal..

3. Person you called?
CYN!!

4. Person you talked to?
Kuan Lock..he's sitting next to me.. in lab..=)

5. Thing you touched?
The keyboard??..lol

6. Thing you ate?
Kesari..=) some indian sweet..

7. Thing you drank?
This morning..havent drank anything yet//

8. Thing you said?
About my transfer to different college for my degree..

HOW I END MY SENTENCES ===============================

1. I love: YOU!!..lol..and music =)

2. I don't understand: certain things sometimes.. ok..MOST OF THE TIME....=p

3. When I wake up in the morning: I so WISHED it was SATURDAY!!

4. Life is full of: ADVENTURE!!.weeeeee!! ..

5. I get annoyed very quickly when: all they do is COMPLAIN, COMPLAIN and COMPLAIN!! ..sigh.. oh yeah..those using excessive VULGAR words.. hehe.. the ears is too healthy for all these stuffs..=)

6. Parties are: not really my type..but when I'm with them.. *friends* I go crazy..hehe

7. Dogs are: normally reffered to as man's best friends..but I stil fear them..lol

8. Cats are: sooooo not my type!!...haizz..

9. Tomorrow is: MY PARENTS ANNIVERSARY!!..

10. I have a low tolerance for: arrogance, pride and EGO!!..

11. If I had a million dollars I would: prabably donate..dont really have much interest is money though..hehe..crazy eh??..

12. I'm totally terrified of: call me nuts.. but it should be BLOOD..lol

thats it??..hahaha.. i have another hour left..hmmm

Sand art!!

So I came back home after college today.. already guessing how's the day going to be..=( I mean..its like sooooo routinized.. soooo programmed.. soooooo not me!!.. I need more..erm adventure..hehe..

At least someone was excited to greet me back home..by playing "hide and seek" through the curtain..hehe.. I'm talking about my 5 year old cousin!!.. while my sis.. didn't even glance!..hmm typical.. why am I complaining?? I'd probably would have done the same..=p it's a good thing she doesn't read my blog though..

So anyway..we had lunch.. watched TARZAN..*lost count of how many times I've watched it..* lol.. But I still never get bored of it.. TARZAN, MULAN, LION KING..hehe.. I know I know.. its just that I'm pretty impressed and how smart the director is..to come up with such cartoons that promotes.."LOVE" ..=)

After Tarzan..had my usual nap.. and then got up to ACTUALLY start on BINOMIAL AND NORMAL DISTRIBUTION tutorial.. and my sis said.."Juan, come do SAND ART!!" ...and I looked at my cousin..who always gets away..with her smile.. and I was like.. "I guess maths can wait.." lol.. since it always WAITED..sigh..

I always wanted to do sand art.. Usually you'll see it an event or at the mass.. Of cause..my age doesnt allow to cross that line..hehe It seemed interesting.. how the "powder" spreads and form a PICTURE!! ..it's like..you know.. letting the chips fall where they belong.. like..fixing pieces of JIGSAW PUZZLE.. and feeling the joy of looking at the completed picture..lol ..

But you shold know la..how "well" i get along with "ARTS" ..hehe

So..I screwed half of the picture!! I had expected la.. I never EXCELLED in arts.. Somewhere always went wrong when I hold the brush....err cause my colors got mixed up.. and I got demotivated..lol.. so that's why mine turned out like.."eeehhhww-ish" ..hehe..

But the little one.. really made me think.."ARE SURE YOUR 19??!!" lol

Here's to the memorable spoilt art of mine..and the 5 years...

The sands..with glue..*dont mind the spoilt art there k..=p*




The five year old and her tree...weeee!!..its purple.. creative or not??..*she has my genes..*




Getting started on the 2nd art work..it has something to do with "love and star" ..hehe..




Check out the color combination!!..hehehe..





The partially finish work.. come one wei!!.. you got to give her credit!!.. the girl's a miracle!!




Owwhh.. the 21 years wanted to show off as well!! hehe.. suddenly this ppl all filled with "L-0-V-E" ..lol




Check out who came in the pic!!.."Da vinci" in the FEMALE form!!..hehehe.. unfortunately it wasnt her day at all!!..




Awwwhhh...the little on her "HARLEY DAVIDSON" ..with her drawings!!




The little one..with the so-called adults drawing!!..heheh




THE FINISHED ART WORK!!..=P

After art..the little one wanted to play bicycle "outside"..instead of the porch..

I wanted to pose in as well..=p

After bicycle..it was a fabulous time for BADMINTON!! ..wait.. it was kinda windy.. but "close one eye" ..hehe..

The champions on the run!!...=) with the pony tail on both sides and a "spaghetti" strapped dress and the pink sandles..=p *perfect attire*

Like a ballerina rite??..heheh




And so the game begins..




Caught in action...




The spectators...lol




Amazing huh??..no more the plain color shuttle..lol



The girl herself.. with her orange glasses.. ok this is a bad pose.. =p

Oh yeah... wanna see how technology spoilts and at the same time benefits a 5 year old??..hehe

CHECK OUT HER FINGERS!! ..trust me..when I was 5..i didnt even know these things existed.. all i know was..the purple and green dinasaur called.."BARNEY!!" ..sigh..

AWWWWHHH...the smile.. told ya..she had my genes..=p

the girl's mad again..

Seenu: Why is everyone so emo la today??!!..
Juan: ..like duh!!..its the last week of foundation!!..
Seenu: sooo...??
Juan: errrr...

A typical guy huh??..hehehe... I mean.. it's a whole difference story when you have long hair..*mostly* ..and wear skirts..or heels.. loves MANICURE and PEDICURE!!..and EARRINGS!! ..=) ..totally have a crush on TAYLOR LAUTNER..unless your my sis la..she doesnt have a life wei!!.. she doesnt THINK TAYLOR LAUTNER IS HAWTT!!..LOL..yeah..tell me about it..=p ..well.. in other words its called A GIRL..hehehe ..sorry I like stating the OBVIOUS and going around the bush!!

..when your a girl.. you have to have a CAMERA with you!! .. *mostly* ... FRIENDS.. are like FAMILIA... we share..we care..we love.. apparently BOYS dont get it!! .. all the care is FOOTBALL..*man u, chelsea, arsenal or liverpool* .. get a life dude.. chasing after a girl..is surely much exciting than chassing after a ball..=p and also about CARS!! ..gosh I dont know what is it.. with boys and cars I mean how in the world..can a four wheel drive..that doesn't breathe..doesnt talk.. doesnt wink..DOESNT EVEN smell like how a girl smells.. can be more interesting..than a GIRL??!! ..sighh.. if its a HARLEY DAVIDSON..thats a whole different story.. hehe

Ok..seriously..I have NO idea..why I wrote about that.. I mean..its not like it bothers me anyway.. lol.. totally none of my business..apprently i belong to the single's group.. so there will I stand..=)

So anyway..I watched HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL 3 today.. yeah I know.. exam coming.. this girl.. tak habis-habis dengan blog..dengan movie..dengan facebook.. sigh.. nanti jadi "anak dara tua yang tak berotak" ..baru kena..=p..hehehe

Hhehe..nice or not my BM??.. dont play-play k.. You'll be mesmerized..when I speak the language...ceeeeh... ENGLISH also tak pass-pass..ini nak cakap BM..

OK..tooooo much crapping..lets get to something serious..

so where was I??..oh yeah.. HSM 3 ..to be honest..like MEL said..there;s NO STORY!! ..lol.. I like the songs btw..and no offence.. but vanessa hudgens CAN'T ACT at all.. seriously.. ZAC EFRON.. was perfect la.. totally different from NEW MOON.. all AWESOME actors!!..both physically and emotionally!!..=) thats why I love that movie!! ..WOW..i realize every post since last week I mentioned on NEW MOON ar??..hehe

I love this song.."can I have this dance.."

which to be honest.. I've never really been to a PROM with the.."dude".. the first prom..was with CYNTA.. she happens to be my date..lol.. we all like "jakun" la..first time prom mah..like "rusa masuk kandang..hehehe.. second time.. was with a guy.. but he's MY FRIEND!! ..i mean i do like him as A FRIEND..but thats it!! ..sigh.. I know I "jual mahal" gila-gila.. saha use to tell me.. but hello.. but its not like I want to..I mean I can't say I feel something..when I feel nothing rite??.. so how can I be categorize into "JUAL MAHAL" kinda type.. which can partly be true.. explains the part where I DONT HAVE A DATE FOR MY NEXT PROM!! ..sigh.. wait.. we're not even having a prom..

oh my...the girl's going mad again..

can someone just slap me.. if i ever post about relationship again??!!..=S

I would like to post the song..but guess I'll wait..for the "dude" ..

good nite all!!

UTAR: till death do us part

Ever felt like so much is going on..
But you're left behind..
You try to catch..
But you don't know where you're going..

well..that's how I feel..=( ...
it's the last week..in UTAR.. though I disliked the place..it left me memories.. Memories that I can't get elsewhere..

I remember the first I entered UTAR..on 12TH OF JANUARY 2009.. 2 days after I started blogging for the FIRST time..hehe.. Took the train.. I feared the eyes that starred at me.. as if I had 3 eyes with no mouth.. *really*..Cause..I'm not really the "socializing" type.. though MY UTAR buddies disagree with me.. seriously I'm not.. I'm the shy type of girl who thinks getting wet in the rain..or reading a novel whole day is SO MUCH BETTER than CLUBBING..=) ..lol didnt see that coming huh??..lol..i know..no life RITE??.. well unless I know you really really well.. that's a whole lotsa different story..!!

Any enough of boring stories...we go back to the last week in UTAR..

I wished it didn't end soo fast.. I wished I was there long enough to actually LEARN HOW TO SPEAK CHINESE.. though I did capture a bit..here and there.. I wished I had join them in GENTING trip..or the Singapore trip.. I wished that I still remained there..and didn't need to change UNI.. I know they partly hate me...for teasing them ALWAYS.. hehe..i can't help it.. that's how I bond.. to be precise.. that's my way of showing my LOVE.. clearly i NEVER meant anything I said..

So here's my LOVE note.. to all 7 of them..=)

For Mellissa Lina.. who helped me in my spirituality.. teaching me songs.. whenever I forgotten how to sing them..mostly HILLSONGS.. being a friend..just by being there.. someone to talk too..when the rest are SPEAKING Chinese!!..=p ..for the ASSIGNMENTS!!..never could have done it without her.. and for teaching me everything I didnt know..=)

For AH PEK!!..who looks like MS LOW!!..=p ..thanks for being my first ever friend..when I walked in UTAR.. for being the person..who visited my BLOG every now and then..and leaving comments.. for her car.. and for the lifts..she offered me.. and for teaching MATHS!!...a great help!!.. and also as an ASSIGNMENT buddy!!.. and not to forget.. for the times she borrowed her phone when I DESPERATELY needed to listen to songs..and for all the NASTY CANDID PICS she took!!.. thanks pek..will all ways love you..=D

FOR JOO JOO!!..=) my favorite girl..lol.. hehe..she and me..has this "CHEMISTRY" .. no joke!!..lol she's one HAWTT babe la.. all guys also after her!!..every SEM new HAIR STYLE!!.. she's a great planner.. she organizers all our trips.. and always remembered to include me and mel..in the trips.. unfortunately we failed to attend them..=( also a great assignment buddy.. and THANKS TO HER mom..for offering me lift once in a while too!!..=)

FOR NG CHENG YEE!!..hehehe..she's known as ASAKO..or ASOKA..well however you call it.. this girl...the first I met her.. she never even glance at me!!.. no joke wei.. perhaps i was A LITTLE BE TOO "DARk" in colur..lol..kidding kidding.. but she turned out to be the NAUGHTIEST GAL EVER!!.. she use to lock all of us OUTSIDE our tutorial class!!.. hehe.. yup.. UTAR's facilities is REALLY BAD!!..even broke a door.."kidding" ..A VERy HUGE THANKS TO HER!!..for RIDE she gave to MID VALLEY!! ..seriously thanks to her..that i manage to save 2 bucks every once in a while.. MUCHAS GRACIAS SENORITA!!..=)

for CHARLENE WONG WAN YI!! ..firstly..this girl is extremely GOOD in here drawing!!..no joke.. both she and CHENG YEE.. born to be GRAPHIC DESIGNERS..=) .. for her happy go lucky character that never failed to make anyone LAUGH!! ..for the UNO CARDS she brought during first and second sem.. always wanted to have her as an assignment member.. but guess it never worked out!!.. also for her car..and the ride she offered..WHICH also made me save 2 bucks!!..=)

for REBECCA TAN SIEW YENG!!.. this girl is one of a kind.. and I dislike her GUTS though.. hehe.. she's too brave and solid for her age..hehehe.. but seriously UTAR will be extremely bored WITHOUT HER!!.. and also thanks to her..taking in charge of the LAPTOP and PROJECTOR.. whenever I'm not there..=)

For GOH KAI PING.. hehe.. she's better known as FISHERMAN!!..lol.. seriously for once.. she's the kinda girl..who gets bullied by all!!..and not me!!..lol..NO JOKE!!..lol.. she gets teased..for her height..and the color of her skin.. it's a lil bit..umm..different..hehe..=p ..but she's a nice girl.. very helpful.. and she also dislikes me..whenever I tease her..=)

And to everyone else..like FAYE CHEAH, SEENU, LINUS..ESTHER..AZRIN..LANDY.. CASSIA.. all stream A students.. and stream C students.. my indian friends.. REINA, PUNES AND BHARATHI..!! ..sorry I cant list all of you!!..but you will always remain in my heart!!

Oh year..i realize I get a lof of lift from people huh??..lol..

anyway here are some UNFORGETFUL MEMORIES!!

The official 1st sem picture..where I was not IN!!..thanks to the bloody CHICKEN POX!! with MS low loi ming!!




The first arts exhibition which turned out to be a NO-NO.. not all of us was in here though!!..=(
The t-shirct nice ar??..hehe.."TB GANG" ..

The 2nd official arts exhibition!! ..everyone was in it!!..weeeee.. this was taken during our arts exhibition.. on 13TH OF APRIL 2009!! which was AWESOME!! with MS DANIEL..




The visit to ASTRO AWANI during 2nd sem!!..with Ms suvitha.=)




WITH the GIRLS!!..sigh..kai ping missing!!..=( ..sure she went fish in the sea..=p
ALL IN RED!!..during 2nd sem also..=)

hmm...so guess thats the end of FOUNDATION.. another chapter in my life.. which I'll forever treasure.. for each one of them..remains in my memory..~TILL DEATH DO US PART~..hehe..

but seriously..if at all..I've hurt any one of you guys.. in one way or another!!..I APOLOGIZE from the bottom of my heart.. I clearly didn't mean to.. =( ..i know i can be pretty annoying.. and blurr.. but THANKS to all you..for accepting me for who I am.. and not CHANGING me.. despite the COLOR i was born to be.. despite the different language that you all speak.. IT MEANS A LOOOTTT TO ME!!.. you all made a difference in my life..and I'm so grateful that I met you ppl!!.. wonder where I Would be without you!!..sorry ya.. minta maaf banyak -banyak.. jika ada salah-silap!!

ok that was a long one.. psychology calling.. better go n study!!..

but remember..TILL DEATH DO US PART!!

take care then..

bye bye fantasy

I skipped class today..sigh..
I felt something in my throat..or it could be in my heart.. like a lump..
Something that's blocking me from breathing..
And it was like its bleeding every time i COUGHED!!..
I mean..i could taste the blood scent..
And every time I coughed I sound like a wolf!!.. lol..
Too much of NEW MOON can do this to you..

Anyway..I finished reading TWILIGHT..hehe
yeah i know..everyone so excited about NEW MOON..
and I'm stuck in TWILIGHT..

Well, if I touch a book.. I'm obliged to finish it.. no matter how long it seemed..=)
And when I'm determined.. I indulge myself in it..
Like I position myself in that story itself..
Like you make everything you read become real..
Or better still.. you become one of the Characters in the book..
You feel what they feel...
You tear..and feel touched..
as if someone really said that..or did that FOR you..
You hurt deeply..when you see them hurt..

You just wished it never end..
The fairy tale your reading..
For you have something to LOOK FORWARD ..
But then when it's done..you close the book..
You stare at the ceiling..for
Another chapter in your life ends..
Another girl..got always..what YOU WANTED!!
But you still wonder..
Is there any possibility..that all "this" could happen to me..??
..that the "girl" in this book..is me..??
That there is a guy out there for me..
Who dares me..to go with him..
In every way that's possible??

And then you blink your eyes..
Left out a small laughter..
and say.."COME BACK TO EARTH JUAN!!"
You say.."goodbye" to the fantasies..
And faintly smile..at the reality..
At what lies..directly in front of your eyes..
Hoping to make the best out of it!!

But I think I'm a freak ..lol
I mean I love reading novels!!..
Seriously you give the whole day..
And I can finish reading the 760 pages of JUDITH MCNAUGHT..
She's a brilliant writer.. I don't know how she does it!!
But I love all her WRITINGS!!

And Twilight..gives a whole new meaning to love..
when you actually read it..
Rather than watching it..
I can't wait for new moon..
But guess..I'll save it after my finals..

take care..god bless

NEW MOON OFFICIAL!!

Some people have got extremely weird taste in movies.. hmmm... ohh perhaps it just me.. who's going all so "awwwwhhhhh-ish" over NEW MOON... I don't know.. cause some say that TWILIGHT is BETTER THAN NEW MOON!!.. Twilight is awesome.. seriously.. but it didn't even reach 50% of what NEW MOON is... hmmm..

Why is NEW MOON awesome??
hmmm..personally..I kinda knew how Bella felt..when EDWARD left her.. so it is pretty easy for me to relate to her.. Like your really close to someone.. and then they leave you.. they also took a part of you with them.. and that part can't be REPLACED.. cause there will never be another "him" .. KRISTEN STEWART played the role perfectly..

And you know..whats the other beauty in this movies??..that though he left her.. and SHE COULD HAVE THE HAWTESTTT GUY ON EARTH..*Jacob Black* ..=p ...yeah yeah..i did say VAMPIRES are hotter that WARE WOLVES.. but I was drooling all over Jacob wei.. the moment he came out with hair cut.. I totally fell for it.. sigh. and I wonder..how weak can a girl get??.. does guys feel the same way..when they see their dream girl??..hmm..any gentlemen care to answer??..lol

Anyway like I said.. the love she poured was so pure and loyal.. that it can't never bought by anything else..even another guy..who WANTS TO POUR MORE love..than Edward did..

well..that's how is it when a girl falls in love.. a girl who is in SERIOUSLY!! which can be a total opposite to guys.. Not steroetyping or anything.. but just as soon as the girl leaves him.. His off to find someone NEW!! .. How 'cheap' can ones love get huh?? ..I mean the "ex" is not even cold in grave..at least 'morn' for a few more weeks la..lol.. Whatever happen to the love..the guy claims to have??.. burried together with girl??...Hmm..HEARTLESS!!..seee..a perfect example of why the say LOVE IS A GAME these days..for there are many "PLAYERS!!" ..

ohh..and I love the last part...bella said.."Dont make me choose..It'll be him.. It has always been him!" ..and also the part edward says to belle.."MARRY ME!!" ..sigh..and they have to stop it there..babi rite??!! lol..

Here are some pics..I'm really in love with this movie..so dont mind ya!!..=p

NEW MOON official wall paper..



The wolve pack.. nice body eh??..lol.. i think Paul is soo cute!!! =p



The vampire and the mortal herself..i like what they wrote on the pic..=)



The ware wolf and the mortal herself..and he asks her.."what..I'm not the right MONSTER??".. hehe..

The hawttiiee!!.. gosh..I can't help it.. It was love at first sight.. even with his long hair.. TAYLOR LAUTNER..i officially have a huge crush on you..though you belong to TAYLOR SWIFT.. sigh..=(

Anyway I think..the government should come up with a new rule!!..NO GUYS ARE ALLOWED TO GRADUATE TILL THEY HAVE THEIR 6 PACKS!! ..hehehe..=p Oh come on!!..you have to agree with me!!..lol..

ok ok..enough of new moon..and 6 packs.. need to start STUDYING!!..=)

take care..God Bless=)